Milquetoast, coolest word ever.
Is it wrong to want to cut a hole in the Tigger suit so I can molest you while I wear it?
i officially have more pictures of his dick than pictures of us together
There is a mirror in the headboard of the bed that I'm sleeping in so I can immediately question life choices when I wake up.
Dude. He put me on a rewards point system for his dick. I have to do him favors now to build up to winning sex. This is shit.
why would you automatically assume i'm high...
you just told me you're eating the powder of a lemonade mix.
I just find it funny that nobody ever threatens to call the cops on us until we have a Harry Potter party
Naked chocolate chip pancake making. I just spilled mix all over the place. My boobs are covered in flour. This is not going well.
We were sitting outside of the building and he literally just walked up with no pants on. This is the best college ever
I'm also sorry that I ate your chicken sandwich while you were throwing up....
There's mini weenies and empanadas everywhere...
I refuse to believe you if you're trying to tell me humanity as a whole isn't sad, tired, and craving Chinese food.
we were waffle house and a lady told me her imaginary friend was sitting in the chair next to her. i don't feel so trashy now.
He kept apologizing that the nerve damage makes him take a while to finish. Meanwhile he gave me 3 orgasms and a leg cramp
Only you could benefit from a reckless driver
You spilled your drink, and we laughed so hard my boobs popped out of my shirt.
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