I'm pounding a vodka drink as we speak to make her interesting
I drank like a thousand beers last night and my poo is solid, not gross like usual. I think this means I've grown up.
Hypothetical question: If I threw up in the dishwasher do I clean it up or just turn it on? :(
It's not every day you get to see a girl fuck herself with a pickle.
i dont think duct tape can fix my g spot
lets call myth busters
not to mention it took an hour of antique roadshow to calm my dick down
Best part: she drunkenly told me I'm dangerous then slurred to my parents that I should watch out in case I fall in love with her. Then she mounted a pinata
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
no dude I'm not doing anything bad to her...remember she's always the DD she has blackmail material on literally all of us
Hold on I'm doing something revolutionary that blossomed from a high idea
Oh please not the Easy Cheese again. That was weird.
i just googled coccaine effects on sexual performance..maybe im dating the wrong guy
My dreams last night were filled with sex and quidditch.
I found your birth control, it was in your Crown Royal bag.
Howd last night go?
well he stumbled in my parents door drunk and then asked my mom if she was my grandma. Id say as far as first impressions go, he failed miserably
Randomize
