i just told my boss to make it rain at camelot later...what is wrong with me?
I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
just saw an anti-abortion rally outside of the courthouse...so naturally i tossed them out a coat hanger i found in my car
hows the party?
ists fjcssing insceredle
be there in 10
Frozen waffles and wine. Loneliness-party of one
Dude she gave you head while I was in the closet, we've passed the "awkward" phase.
The stripper just invited me to take shots with him out at his car after he gets off stage.. I mean why not? I've already seen everything he's got and it'll be easy to get him naked.
Tonight, I'll be cleaning. And by cleaning, I mean drinking booze and spraying everything with Febreze.
Question: If I got in a car accident and lost my memory of us, would you work your way back just so we could be fuck buddies again?
I'm watching The Vow and just need to know that I'm loved in some way
If you've never been pounded by an Eastern European body builder, I would highly recommend it.
So I deleted all the text from my phone, was looking for my mom's coffee order and show the coffee guy the pic of me eating pussy.
When he couldn't get it up, he handed me a beer, put his clothes back on, and said "try again tomorrow."
SUNS OUT COOCHY OUT
so i showed up to the bars in a sombrero and a tie as a headband... so yeah, they didn't let me in
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