i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
A guy at the bar bought me a jag bomb because I'm the chick that frosts his donuts at KT. Never have I been more proud of being a failure at life.
like he said he was barking at you while cumming in your face
You were so excited to be getting 4 tickets to the Whale Rodeo.... That high
Is it weird that the girl he dated after me had a child with him and it has my name? I think it means he's not over me. Or I'm really self absorbed...
Whatever dude, just dont tell her your first impression was she looked like your cousin. no judgement here. just sayin.
I think a girl on my floor is watching zombie porn. There is literally no other description for the noise coming from her room.
While we were having sex he asked me if I wanted to get wingstop after. I think I found my future husband.
Yeah then you killed that bottle of Bacardi in under 20 minutes. So much for being an organ donor.
IM AT A ROOFTOP FUNDRAISER LOOKING OVER THE WHITE HOUSE I WILL NOT RUIN MYSELF
I'm debating a nap but also debating breaking into the liquor cabinet
I'll like his pictures on Instagram every once and a while so that when he sees my name he is reminded of the best blow job he's ever gotten.
Just a little. Like do I say "hey I'm the girl that's fucking your son, nice to meet you"
Girl just left one of the apts upstairs carrying a giant bottle of kahlula and a lunchable.... I feel like we could be friends
Good morning 7am walk of shame. It's been awhile.
Randomize
