That level of neurosis does not find love outside of Grey's Anatomy.
She is my favorite of all the girls you have fucked. Other than me.
The paper boy just woke me up in the front yard again.
hooked up with a girl who spoke elfish last night..what up 8th grade lord of the rings fantasies
You remember those guys we called the police on after they stole our keg? Turns out one of them is a student instructor in one of my classes. Figuring out how best to use this information.
I'm treating myself to a " uve slept with yet another mr. Wrong" breakfast
Nothing like the It's a Small World ride at Disneyland to remind you to take your birth control. I took it on the boat yesterday
I usually don't buy birthday presents for my booty calls
But you'll make an exception
probably not
i wasnt laughing because you were puking, i was laughing because three yards away there was a couple seriously getting it on
continuing my moment killer tradition in the best possible way
he wouldnt let me in bed until i took off all the stickers i was covered in
Hopefully this dress says "let me rent your house" and not "let me suck your dick for money"
Look,the guy had sex w/a Canadian prison guard on the deck of a cruise ship,he could blow any second.
Like the friend zone has no room for winks
He just seemed to happy to be having sex with me that it ruined the mood for me. I just wanted to punch him.
We were all having a bath, the three of us, then that drug dealer guy walked in and peed. Sitting down. Apparently he didn't want to offend us.
Randomize
