The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
is it bad that i regret hanging out with a girl tonight because that means i have less time to sit on youtube watching xmen cartoons?
I woke up and went to my kitchen naked and decided I wanted a fruit cup. Ate said fruit cup. Look over and notice my male neighbor is staring at me
hungover + watching bobsledding = i just puked
Just spent the last of my lifesavings on (what i hope is enough of) alcohol. Hello summer.
i just got painted green i'm not about to leave for anything
and now that ive poetically compared your vagina to a nuclear missile, I hope youre prepared for this date.
No need to get angry I'm just tryin to get my door back
Results of pregaming honors college basketball social: 18 points, 3 blocks, and 3 flagrant fouls leading to 2 broken bones on former valedictorians. I'm doing this more often.
If drinking before honors events and injuring our universities brightest doesn't get you kicked out of the program, you're not trying hard enough.
It's like we come as a package. Your slogan should be "be in my family, sleep with my roommate."
My slogan can be "bonding the family together. One dick at a time."
Curled up in the fetal position, trying not to throw up or think about my future, and humming songs from musicals to myself. You?
I couldn't finish the episode and had to lay down because the snapple commercial with the mustache was blowing my mind
On the way to have sex with my ex's roommate... I have hit a new low
I brought my porn computer to class by accident
How much porn do you watch if you need a special computer?
Randomize
