the last time I saw her she was leaving the mens bathroom and club rush with her dress inside out. typical tease.
dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
just walked past a group of stoners who were staring open jawed in the spice aisle. tonight they will stumble upon something amazing.
just saw a guy driving a atv down the highway in a tux.... only in Iowa...
Just got my cast off. My occupational therapist wants me to self-gratify. My clit is about to have an awesome weekend...
I think I just found part of a tooth on my bed... What goes on in here?
i dont care. it has been a 14 hour day, and we are all celebrating by alternating shots and grilled cheese.
Do you have any booze?
Well I have 60 feet of bubble wrap and a bottle of wine...but I'm saving that for a special girl...
Want to come over and rub aloe on my tits?
he also bled all over my floor. unrelated to cats but true nonetheless.
You will go out on a boat of flames filled with honor, sarcasm, and assholery, let me assure you.
I don't think people appreciate how hard it is to fuck in a portapotty. Sarah and I had train for that shit.
don't worry i won't let him get attached. I put on my Hulk onesie after sex and yelled I SMASHED YOU. never seen a guy looked so confused.
Mostly because I hate my job and a have a photogenic penis.
Lol if he questions who I am I'm gonna send him a pic of his boxers
Randomize
