just woke up and my boobs have "fun police" written on them
even a "fuck you" would be nice at this point.
dude did u upper deck my toilet?
haha like two months ago
i cleaned the bathroom like ten times before i realized what the smell was.....i hate u
woke up and her hair clip was clamped around my shaft
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just met a guy who has been in college for 7 years and still classified as a junior. Then watched him shotgun 10 beers. Found my new hero
I thought she was mad at me, but then we did a pose off and I realized we're friends for life
In Canada she would be a 10 but here in America she's only a 7
just fed a duck at the lake a weed brownie. it hasnt moved in 20 minutes.
What part of "you pissed in the tent" do you not understand?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i am exhausted. it's been years. we both know his dick is small. the jig is up.
We got to the party at eleven, and the host was already in the hospital from being stabbed. And she brought the stabber home with us when we left.
The Angel on my shoulder is now resorting to merely reminding me that, "You will regret this later." I'm not sure if he's learning how I think or just giving up. Either way, should make life a bit more interesting.
No I need this job. I actually contemplated buying a vibrator with my dad's credit card the other night.
Nothing says "I'm sorry for shitting in your bed" like an Olive Garden gift card
gave out my moms phone number instead of mine last night... thattttttttttttttt dunk.
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