i have i love cock written on my hand and a vagina drawn on my arm and i just finished eating breakfast with the whole fam for mothers day
ahah at least you got away with it
nope...my gran was the one who informed me
Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
so i was eating a special k bar this morning for breakfast and started choking on it so i reached into my bag for water turns out it was liquor.
Well he paid for dinner, so I paid for the Plan B, but the parking ticket I got is totally his responsibility.
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
My dry heaving is complicating my ability to speak.
and honestly how many chances will you get to hook up with a one armed guy?
With your fertility you would just get contact pregnant
Someone's having a good night if they're getting gummi bears and Astroglide.
got fuckng wasted at spring training, got a lap dance at le girls, got a burrito at filibertos, and still made it to my 5 o'clock eco class wearing a bikini top....I love Arizona State University
As we're eating sushi she goes I just want to get a disease so my mom can take care of me... Great first date
What happened to the good old days when we whispered the words beer pong and people came running?
Sending out old nude selfies with the message "#tbt"
So far I consider it a great summer because I have had to buy Plan B a total of zero times
Yeah, so, that moment when the repair guy comes in and you see your cock ring on the counter one second before he does.
Randomize
