Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
I just called a phone sex line and you know what I did? I sat there and cried
Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
If I were a hot girl. I'd whore around, I'd be awesome.
So after tequila Thursday, Jess broke her arm table dancing. Now her and Andrew look like the perfect drunk couple, matching casts and all.
Oh, and no balcony sex...trust me.
my car smells like vomit and bananas. this can't really be my life.
i wish it would rain vodka just once. i have not puked yet bring it on
Can we put your name for the shipping address for penis ice luge?
She said we "made love." I had to explain to her that when both parties agree that the first time time they have sex both people agree to video tape the whole thing its not "making love" but more like random good time fun sex.
I need to stop acting like a drunk bitch. People are going to get the right idea about me...
There's a 50-50 shot that I will wake up with an ass tattoo tomorrow.
He and his ex stood there talking about going to get Chinese food while I was half naked searching for my panties
You know tonight's gonna be a good night when your already planning on sleeping in a trunk
So random question: what's a good way to tell your brother that his Skype sex kept you awake last night? I'm not really sure how that conversation begins.
Randomize
