i just google searched "what time does taco bell open"
i just passed a truck with a bumper sticker saying "i'd rather be cummin than strokin." god bless the midwest.
What would Jesus do? ... Jesus would slap a ho.
My morning has consisted of lying in a fetal position, eating a whole tub of ben and jerry's, talking to my cat, and setting all of our pictures on fire. Does that answer your question?
These 19 Teachers Had Very Inappropriate Interactions With Students
Just found the book "How to Stay Christian in College" on my roommates desk. At a loss for words...
But like now everytime I pee I just think... wow I had sex with him on this toilet.
I'm eating Doritos that I crushed up n put in a cup so I only have to chill minimally.
Apparently im getting a reputation for how i mix drinks. Im the midas of booze. Everything i touch turns to koolaid.
Been in bed for 16 hours. Haven't eaten in 18 hours. Haven't pissed in almost 20 hours. Fuck you Stacey and your former reign as laziest bitch. I got the title now.
Women Confess 25 Instant Deal-Breakers On A Man’s Dating Profile
PS my house is a mess.
pps I have a rash on my face.
I felt like a personal hot pocket and all I could taste was cigarettes.
I never thought people would keep their guns next to their fake plastic penises, but there they were.
Seriously just told the plant the cheese Pringles are mine.
I rode home in a shopping cart so there's that. MVP to the guy that pushed it.
I don't remember anything but bad decisions last night