she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
its easy. just sleep with a bunch of guys until one falls in love
WHY WOULD YOU LET ME MAKE THAT MUCH NOISE DURING SEX IN RESIDENCE ?!
I tried to push your face into the pillow but then you kicked like a donkey.
I love tequila.
I just found three unopened cans of PBR behind our futon that I think I was saving for winter.
21 Horribly Evil Pranks To Play On Your Drunk Friends
Its not christmas eve unless I give him head. I wont take no for an answer
I seriously just found a rose petal in my vagina.
The swelling on my elbow and tongue means I may have cockblocked myself.
In chronological order you drank, sang, smoked, napped, threw up, cried, laughed, described your pubic area, passed out. You have abused the privilege to use me as your D.D.
Well the walls are thin and I can hear the couple next door having sex. I think their dog is somehow involved.
29 Times Beach Sex Ended With Sand In All The Wrong Places
So burnt out. Like weed hangover. And someone just fell through the ceiling outside of my class. How's your morning going?
The cops walked in and cracked up bec he was passed out on the couch in a pink tutu.
How do I cancel buying spotify premium for two homeless people?
You said you couldn't use your body anymore so you made me push the buttons on your phone while you made alien sound effects
this temple that is my body is starting to crumble and turn into ruins
So what you're saying is that The Magic Kingdom is ruining our plans to get laid?