It smelt so bad when i tried biting off her underwear that i didn't want to touch with my mouth
VITAMINS IN VODKA. IM NOT LYING.
Whoa, Gary Coleman died
Whatchu talkin bout?!?!
You paid the taxi driver with a comb last night.
These 23 People Had Sex With Someone From Completely Different Cultures
oh no, im for sure still drunk. i wana eat evrything in the fancy feast commercial... everything
whoever set the energy saving light timer in the lobby bathroom cleraly has no concept how long a work dump takes
The more and more I drink I keep rationalizing banging eye patch girl
Even completely stoned shes amazing on the piano. There are like 7 people sitting on the ground listening to her like she's the messiah.
What's a good pandora station to masturbate to?
25 Medical Facts That Need To Be Common Knowledge
Someone left their drag queen on my couch. On the plus side, he sure does know how to make a mean cup of coffee.
At some point you realize they're vacuuming and you still have to sober up. Please find me a boyfriend thanks .
I've blown him while he hit my bong, I've blown him while he played video games and now I'm looking for a new challenge. Don't even try suggesting a blumpkin.
The least you could do is send me some gibberish so I know you're alive.
I smell like bonfire and ex-boyfriends
I slid a quarter down a drunk man's butt crack last night. Qdoba gets rowdy