sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
I cant go down on him yet. All ive had to eat is olives and percocet. semen would only add to tomorow mornings discomfort.
What are you wearing to our high school reunion?
I don't know, What kind of dress says "I feel sorry for you people?"
Just saw a group of asian tourists in safari outifts bow in thanks to the starbucks guys. And no Im not high.
I can actually hear my brain cells scream as they die when she speaks.
Practice the "sorry I may have given you herpes" conversation with me before I call him and break the news
If I have to take him to the hospital, I'm drawing dicks on his face
I'm glad the dog doesn't judge me for doing leftover lines and watching George of the Jungle at 10 am
Thats why you have fulfilling relationships with nice girls and i have kinky sex with crazies
If it makes you feel any better, karma just served me up a big dose of fuck you.
She asked the woman in the drive through to cover everything she ordered in mayonnaise, including here chilli cheese fries. Didn't happen. Then she started swerving at the car next to us screaming, asking if they had mayonnaise.
She was blowing me when her roommate came in and goes "you want me to tap in?"
You realize once your inheritance is finalized this shit will stop happening right?
The council and I are about to open up a bottle of malort.
UPGATe: THE COUNCIL AND I HAVE AGREED TO BAHN MALORT FROM THE HOUSEHOLD
all im saying is 27 is too old to still be drinking 40s, you make more money than me, buy some decent shit
screw you you golddigging beer snob
He is in my tree wearing full on scuba gear ... Get here asap.
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