VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
soo apparently i was out of money so i stayed in the bathroom for an hour-ish passing out paper towels for money..needless to say i got kicked out
She told you broke her computer after the little square in tetris wouldn't rotate for you...
good news. it is gonna rain tomorrow so now I don't have to pay to clean the puke off the side of your car.
He has crabs, not bed bugs. I recommend incoporating a clinic on this mornings walk of shame route.
Miller High Life will be the death of me. Well, that and shower sex.
After being his wingman last night, I've decided I will never talk about becoming a lesbian ever again. Picking up chicks is way too hard.
Of course I will... FYI I just gave my balls a crew cut.
Lets think Pancakes and sausages into existence
I just wish I had a snapshot of his attempted front flip off the bar. There are some things that are worth getting a life ban for, and the moment of impact with his foot and that lady's face was one of those things.
Last night you referred to my vagina as a gym for your penis
listen i get youre a daddy dom but that doesnt give you a pass to make dad jokes
should i feel bad about fucking you on my front lawn the day before you set me up with your best friend?
She should be a lawyer. She convinced her husband to give her a hall pass AFTER he walked in on her in bed with her ex-bf
It was just another case of she fell in love I fell asleep.
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