Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(405): View more from Oklahoma

just woke up in the hotel with gummi bears all around me and someone took the tv

(1-405): View more from Oklahoma

we took the tv and as for the gummi bears don't eat them you put em in her vagina

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(405): just woke up in the hotel with gummi bears all around me and someone took the tv (1-405): we took the tv and as for the gummi bears don't eat them you put em in her vagina http://tfl.nu/dapc

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(612): View more from Minnesota

he burped in my vagina and tried to deny it...

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(612): he burped in my vagina and tried to deny it... http://tfl.nu/39p0

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(706): View more from Georgia

She devotes each year to either men or women. I waited all year for her to be straight, tonights the night.

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(706): She devotes each year to either men or women. I waited all year for her to be straight, tonights the night. http://tfl.nu/uc8q

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(612): View more from Minnesota

i watched you ride a mechanical penis. nothing is awkward between us anymore.

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(612): i watched you ride a mechanical penis. nothing is awkward between us anymore. http://tfl.nu/6de5

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(303): View more from Colorado

What are you doing? Did I punch you in the face last night?

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(303): What are you doing? Did I punch you in the face last night? http://tfl.nu/ofgo

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(319): View more from Iowa

You came in as I got off work, ordered us jack and cokes. Put them on my tab, and then proceeded to fall asleep on the bar.

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(319): You came in as I got off work, ordered us jack and cokes. Put them on my tab, and then proceeded to fall asleep on the bar. http://tfl.nu/ei6k

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(815): View more from Illinois

we started the countdown to drunken sledding this weekend.

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(815): we started the countdown to drunken sledding this weekend. http://tfl.nu/dsgm

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(804): View more from Virginia

I sold weed for gas money to get home. I thought that's what college was for.

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(804): I sold weed for gas money to get home. I thought that's what college was for. http://tfl.nu/5fqm

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(914): View more from New York

So somebody asked her is she's okay.She turned around,started running and screamed "Ballet is running through my veins" before doing a small pirouette.It's amazing how she managed not to fall.

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(914): So somebody asked her is she's okay.She turned around,started running and screamed "Ballet is running through my veins" before doing a small pirouette.It's amazing how she managed not to fall. http://tfl.nu/w95m

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(347): View more from New York

I slept with an Israeli and a Palestinian in the same day. It feels wrong.

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(347): I slept with an Israeli and a Palestinian in the same day. It feels wrong. http://tfl.nu/uiaa

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(231): View more from Michigan

FridayRule: If it takes you longer than 5 minutes to find a parking spot, you don't have class today

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(231): FridayRule: If it takes you longer than 5 minutes to find a parking spot, you don't have class today http://tfl.nu/dvgl

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(612): View more from Minnesota

She asked if I wanted to "Mormon Motorboat" her, which I guess is just motor-boating her through her cloths. Turns out I did.

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(612): She asked if I wanted to "Mormon Motorboat" her, which I guess is just motor-boating her through her cloths. Turns out I did. http://tfl.nu/uugg

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(270): View more from Kentucky

You aren't going to like my movie choice because it's a Disney movie, but I am cordially inviting you to the couch for blowjobs.

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(270): You aren't going to like my movie choice because it's a Disney movie, but I am cordially inviting you to the couch for blowjobs. http://tfl.nu/j0k2

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(860): View more from Connecticut

Def just threw up beer then brushed my teeth with some randos toothpaste now back to drinkin beer

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(860): Def just threw up beer then brushed my teeth with some randos toothpaste now back to drinkin beer http://tfl.nu/4t5t

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(714): View more from California

I just saw a stripper light her nipples on fire. Im terrified and impressed all at the same time

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(714): I just saw a stripper light her nipples on fire. Im terrified and impressed all at the same time http://tfl.nu/bvah

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