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just woke up in the hotel with gummi bears all around me and someone took the tv
we took the tv and as for the gummi bears don't eat them you put em in her vagina
he burped in my vagina and tried to deny it...
She devotes each year to either men or women. I waited all year for her to be straight, tonights the night.
i watched you ride a mechanical penis. nothing is awkward between us anymore.
What are you doing? Did I punch you in the face last night?
You came in as I got off work, ordered us jack and cokes. Put them on my tab, and then proceeded to fall asleep on the bar.
we started the countdown to drunken sledding this weekend.
I sold weed for gas money to get home. I thought that's what college was for.
So somebody asked her is she's okay.She turned around,started running and screamed "Ballet is running through my veins" before doing a small pirouette.It's amazing how she managed not to fall.
I slept with an Israeli and a Palestinian in the same day. It feels wrong.
FridayRule: If it takes you longer than 5 minutes to find a parking spot, you don't have class today
She asked if I wanted to "Mormon Motorboat" her, which I guess is just motor-boating her through her cloths. Turns out I did.
You aren't going to like my movie choice because it's a Disney movie, but I am cordially inviting you to the couch for blowjobs.
Def just threw up beer then brushed my teeth with some randos toothpaste now back to drinkin beer
I just saw a stripper light her nipples on fire. Im terrified and impressed all at the same time
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