Spaghetti and Car Bombs, good idea or what will end up on the bar in a few minutes?
I've been crying in my room listening to Billy Joel for 2 hours. Thank God Four Loko was banned.
I DON'T CARE WHAT THE CIRCUMSTANCES ARE NEVER VOMIT IN MY PURSE AGAIN.
Lost another pound. Switching from beer to hard liquor did this body good.
I thought that u needed a break due the fact that your nipples were bleeding
'Twas I. Do you have any idea what it's like waking up to see you sent a text inviting someone to partake in "sexy rumpus?"
Thats like me asking what you think of antisocial polish guys with mysterious rashes
im sleeping with a therapist...so you can talk to me.
I told you, I'm taking a sledgehammer to your walls. Fuck your walls.
I'm Batman.
He was talking up his golf swing like other guys talk up their dick. Is this adult dating or just another flavour of douchery?
I just jerked off in front of my dog to make him jealous of my thumbs. There are consequences for stealing the last cheeto!
too bad I'd hit a car before I'd hit a bush.
Are we talking about jumping from windows or your willingness to fuck a car instead of a woman?
Check snapchat. Selfie game still on point mid vomit.
Is she blowing you? I'm in the closet.
We ended the night eating peanutbutter with our hands and smoking cigarettes in the house at 4am. Fucking Everclear, man.
Randomize
