And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
we had sex three times last night.. but now im just wet from him crying on my stomach about how much he misses his ex.. awesome
I just spilled my beer all over my laptop.. this is what i get for actually trying to do homework
My roommate was eating ketchup out of a bowl. Get me the hell out of here.
Was my mother there when I broke the stipper pole?
She was to tired for head so she opted for a footjob with poor results. I dont want to talk about it
My favorite part was screaming to all my life by kc and jojo and just horribly failing
When the cab driver starts laughing its a good indication of the standard of girls you are bringing home
Just got to her place. Her parents are here and are high as a kite.
Her father just game me a high 5 as they left the room. Her mom leaned in and said "this is a rebound thing"
I just chugged whiskey at 7 AM because going to breakfasts at Brendas doesnt seem right if Im not real drunk. I feel like when Brenda takes my order she can tell Im drunk and will take care of me.
So I definitely tried to pay a cab with baseball tickets last night
I'm about to have a threesome at the hotel where I had my quinceañera. Becoming a woman under this roof for the second time, whaaat
The fact our science teacher from high school was buying us drinks and hitting on me doesn't matter.
I made out with that lesbian chick for a blunt. NO REGRETS.
Plus my parents would be pissed if I spent Thanksgiving in jail... again.
Randomize
