I think your mom looks like a breed of donkey and elephant, but her boobs are perfect
dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto.
I just got hit in the face by an old lady love handle.
false alarm. still invincible.
Can we have fireworks this year or will the ocean explode?
Of course... Double fistin nati light cuz the powers out and it cuts down the times i gotta open the fridge... Genius
I made him a flow chart of what to do if I got arrested.
AND FUCKING MGMT JUST CAME ON. CAN I GO DROWN MYSELF IN LESBIANS OR SOMETHING? IS IT TIME TO LESBIAN
we're fated to lesbian
I know what you meant. If you want babies in time for your birthday, we gonna need either a time machine or a ski mask.
Ok: all ex-gfs except you from the last 5 years have or are about to have a baby...be on the lookout...
My hand smells like rave and peanut butter.
Shout out to my liver for being the true MVP. It easily put in more work than LeBron or Curry this week.
I got my period during my acid trip. It was weird.
Let's be honest, I've seen a decent amount of dicks in my life and very few of them have been worth all the trouble.
I'd like to buy a season pass to your dick please.
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