My bed smells like naked
Haha. At least it doesn't smell like herpes
Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
You better get here soon. I'm about to spend $30 on a cactus online
Fact: Telling a guy he has erectile dysfunction doesn't solve the problem.
He literally didn't stop until I lost count of how many times he made me orgasm. It took three hours.
we just saw you getting yelled at by the cops for trying to 'hijack' a street sweeper...how have you not been arrested yet?
there is a strobe light in my taxi. in what way is this safe.
She sucked my dick and I swear I almost had to send a search party into her mouth to find it. IT WAS THAT AMAZING.
He told me to come in and have some water before I drove home, my vagina didn't stand a chance escaping. We didn't even make it to the kitchen.
Does Jim keep sending you pics of him in drag too???? If so, are you also slightly uncomfortable?
But for real, I had the best sex of my life on that bunk bed
I got a text saying, "It's so great to throw tomatoes at seagulls."
Carver called his mom a milf again
Was it on purpose this time?
Well, I got drunk and told my family about what I expected sexually after a good first date.
DID YOU OR DID YOU NOT, PEE IN MY FUCKING TRASHCAN?!
Randomize
