I just googled maps his house, and took the virtual tour back to my apartment, just so I could visualize the walk of shame in the morning
you kept trying to convince me i had aids because my head hurt
We aren't going to mix hockey and sex texts tonight.
I totally agree. all sexting is on hold till after the games over.
Playoffs. This shit is serious.
He keeps asking me for girl advice, i told him im an expert at getting drunk, not girls
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From the trajectory of the puke, I must have fallen off the top bunk while trying to vomit, due to the dented bucket, ruined carpet, and bruised dignity I now own.
cracked out the beer snorkel again. that thing has a five for five record of getting me naked.
at the time it didn't seem likely that you would ever find the cake in your underwear
It's ok that you're screwing someone else while trying to get back with me, I'm banging three girls while I ignore you.
also dude totally apologize for the whole drunken "want something in my mouth" text
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She got tired so now we're making anyone who has a stupid idea go into her bedroom so she can sleepslur "good idea" or "baaaad idea." We're calling her the queen of the misguided.
Nutrition teacher wants anything i eat or drink documented for the week including dancefestopia. Do you know the recommended daily ammount of psylicybin or MDMA?
The only downside to doctor sex is that getting choked with a stethoscope leaves marks.
I'm somewhere between crying and wanting to orgasm.
I just got a hug from a random kid in my class. he said I was a champ at the bar last night..someone help me.
Why is there a condom in my ukulele?
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