I made myself breakfast and everything and then whoever's house it actually was came downstairs very upset.
I just found 22 drunken videos and 4 naked pictures on my phone. We'll start the bidding at $5
all i remember is stealing his cheesepuffs and shaving my vagina in the hotel lobby
I've eaten cheese dip for three consecutive meals. I think I need to branch out.
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my favorite part of the night was when I was in the bathroom frantically trying to get my cat whiskers and nose off to make hooking up less awkward
So, I found out he was eating a jolly rancher while eating me out.. Hence the yeast infection.
please visit steve this weekend, he is getting mature and responsible and shit which scares me.
I left a care package of Jack Daniel's, pancake mix and porn in your apartment. Merry fucking Christmas.
Either I spilled whiskey on my boobs last night or they are fermenting. Not concerned in the slightest
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how are things with the new girl?
good, we have nothing in common but she likes being choked
Terrible hangover + phoenix airport + pizza hut....I think I might have entered one of the levels of hell.
then he grabbed my tit and yelled "FOR NARNIA!!" then dove into my vag. i think I will do him again strictly for the entertainment value
Sneaking the vodka in was the easy part.. listening to medley of puking in the porta pottys was not
I met someone else! And I had a wonderful orgasm! And he wants to see me again, like take me out!
Fucking hate kids. In particular I hate our kids.
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