why did u let me go home with him last night?
u were determined it was a good idea
i just realized how high i was when i was screaming red light challenge at the top of my lungs and am watching it alone
well i was about to unbutton his pants but then i realized they had an elastic waste-band, so no, that didnt happen
I just want you to know that were having pizza delivered to the emergency room
CONGRATS VODKA, YOU WON RHIS TIME..
It's almost like he dry humped the last remaining bit of good person out of me.
So... Apparently, "Home" isn't the correct response when a cop asks for your address...
I would say I'm the man in the relationship but I'm cuddled on the couch eating cake mix and water.
You sent me a picture of you holding a goat then asked me if I would have day sex
I just don't know the best way to tell him I think I saw him in a porn. I mean I got off to it, isn't there some level of awkwardness there?
ahhhh just came to creep and you're not there AND your thong you were wearing last night is on the floor..someone has some explaining to do
To show us how offended you were you took off the right foot of your pterodactyl suit and proceeded to attack us with it.
And you are going to be so turned on by my batman skills later
oh, he’s out of jail btw. as of about 6pm. one of his customers bonded him out apparently lol
Like he really got a coke fiend to bond him out?
We need to stop calling him that. I definitely said “Fuck me harder Swizzle Dick“ while we were doing it and it got weird
He should appreciate that I recommend that corkscrew cock of his! I’m getting him laid
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