Already tried, she's too smart for that. I need a Primos "Do your wife in the butt" lure/call to trick her into wanting it
found out this morning via facebook that the guy i met last night has a wife and a baby and he took me to his apartment where he takes girls to cheat on his wife
i mean you met him at the daytona 500
Drinking bud light and eating rice cakes...this is the closest to getting in shape for spring break as its going to get.
stephanie tanner's voice is so fucking annoying. no wonder she resorted to crystal meth.
Were driving two hours to st louis so we can pee on the arch. See you in the morning. I might be sober by then.
I feel like vodka or no vodka, you'd still be trying to button your cat into your comforter
Just got tipped $5 for distracting some dude's gf while he got another girl's number. Bro-code at its finest.
THEY WONT LEYT ME IN AND I REALLY NEED SOME FRUIT
Saxophones in my mind. I swear someone dosed me.
After what I experienced at 6am this morning, all I can say is chew your noodles thoroughly.
Had to admit my broken elbow was caused by vodka, not hockey
I have a cheeseburger in my purse and im going to fill her prescription for narcotics. Who thought i was responsible enough to sign her discharge papers?
I mean, he’s listed as “Andrew DC Threesome” in my phone. THATS HOW I REMEMBER HIM! How is that not the start of a fairytale?
She woke up, mumbled "the trees" When i asked her what about them, she yelled "WE NEED THEM FOR OXYGEN," Then went back to sleep.
We need to get on her level.
You know the story of the boner party, right? They got stuck in the mountains and ate each other?
It was the Donner party... boner party was the porn version...
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