OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
9 of the 12 girls i had sex with in college are on facebook
it was an ugly road back then. i'm sure time hasn't been friendly.
Just gave advice in krystal burger while holding and pointing with a corona to a 3 year old, told her to enjoy her stroller time while it lasts. The mom pushed her away fast.
She finally woke up and said, "Me- nothing, potato peeler- 1." And rolled back over.
My mom and I are having a "yay I don't have herpes" shopping trip day
she brought my homemade cookies with condoms taped to the box... im in love
I HOPE YOURE READY TO KICK SOME SERIOUS ASS AT TRIVIA NIGHT TOMORROW NIGHT. also, i hope the birth of your niece goes well. BUT MOSTLY TRIVIA NIGHT.
I wish there were birth control emojis
Admittedly shitfaced... I have two questions. 1)why is the fan in my bathroom on? (Sub-text: is there a ghost?). 2) is your underwear really argyle?
This guy is walking around with a deer head on. Honestly what the fuck
it's finals week and we've been blasting country porch drinkin since 10AM. there's been like 4 tweets about hearin us on the other side of campus
It took years to build this empire of casual fuckings and not carings.
He wants to make me arch my back "like I'm having an exorcism". Not sure if I'm turned on or freaked out.
So pro tip. do not order drugs from india and then assume you know your tolerance level.
Randomize
