and you said cock pushups were impossible
i wish every aspect of life was like a bar. flirt with the cute guy two feet across from you and get whatever you want for free
She wouldn't go home with me cause I forgot her name. I didn't realize it would matter after she danced with her vagina on my face
i was surprised by the severity of his small dick condition
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
... there are chew marks on my license. I have no idea.
ALSO, bringing a stapler to the bar is a good idea
Dude you're alone at a bar with a woman, and you're talking about my junk?
They have a stripper pole on their deck. Normal.
Promise me you will not let me do anything sexual with or to a mini horse no matter how drunk we get. Ever.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I tried to order champagne at IHOP last night
You need to stop vomiting in the washing machine, bro. For real this time.
I spent two entire hours explaining to a guy why I wouldn't make out with him. How was your night?
Its one thing to reject me, but to reject me AND my hottest friend AT THE SAME TIME!?!?
Sooo...you're driving 6 hours for free booze?
Don't judge me.
R.I.P my virginity. TOD 12:37pm
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