This whole living in Ohio thing is getting reaaaaallly old.
This girl would not stay down. It was like night of the living dead. She kept on rising up to haunt anything with a penis
His penis will pick the quickest route to vagina. it's like an biological onstar.
Do what? I was just saying that at some point there's a chance I'll have a boner. Think of it like a guessing game. "Does he have one now?"
I don't know what's worse the the fact he has worn a protective cup for last 3 years in fear of being kicked in the balls. Or the fact that the one day he decides to throw caution to the wind and doesn't wear it and actually gets kicked in the balls.
Who in tha hell do u hang out with?
Wesley I'm sober and my body hurts. There wasn't much trust in any of those falls.
But I did spend part of my morning scrubbing your cum off my grandmothers piano.
I lost my vibrator temporarily and for some unknown reason my first thought was that you might have stolen it. But then I realized you would never do that because you know it keeps me from killing people. But I am overtired and lacking in faith.
It gave me the St Patrick's Day nickname Slutty McShitfaced. I've never felt so understood.
Never play truth or dare with a girl who carries a dildo in her purse. I'll never go to a Denny's again.
I want to be tan and drunk. Is that too much to ask for?
My mom just drunk texted me complaining about her genitals smelling like Taco Bell. I really am her son
That's a really terrible idea.
Awesome I'm gonna do it then, thanks for the input
Dude, you can't drink while watching Star Trek. You hardly understand it sober.
It's an alien shaped cup though. i think that'll help me absorb.
I walked in the kitchen and heard her saying "We could have been so good together" as she caressed an egg with her cheek.
Randomize
