the drag queen on stage looks like shes wearing the EXACT same dress i wore 2 senior prom.
If she wasn't my friend I'd think she was a huge slut
I need a DD tuesday morning around 9 AM
I'm scared to ask why.....
1st bikini wax. Jose Cuervo is helping me prepare.
Do I buy ice cream sandwiches or a 40? these are the difficult life decisions I am faced with.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I knew his night was already over when he started marking lines on the bottle and setting goals
I've only left my bed to pee and eat nutella out of the jar with my fingers
My ex was here I looked him in the eyes when I grabbed some other guy by his belt and dragged him to a room
I am sending my doctor an XXXMas card thanking him for my tits!
Next time I think buying tan-thru bikinis is a good idea, remind me of that time I passed out in one and burned the epic shit out of my pussy.
When was that?
Yesterday. Bring aloe. For my pussy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm hungover during 4th grade graduation practice. I AM THEIR FUTURE.
I don't want my liquor store dad to judge me...
I can't hookup with a guy in my car because it smells like Taco Bell..
Banging to Billy Joel pandora is like russian roulette. But I made him cum to Let It Be so I we both walked away victors
I got really stoned and got my certification as an ordained minister. How productive has your day been?
Bacon and your penis are involved. Of course I'm going over.
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