I just bought a large Pizza and Xanex in the same store...my night is complete
Reason #437 to hate Louisiana: Just went to the public bathroom at work. It was so humid the toilet seat was damp and sticky. Either it's the humidity or I sat in somebody's yesterday piss. I choose to believe the humidity.
I woke up while squatting on top of my bed peeing on my comforter and my laptop
Just finished texting the 27th male name in my phone that i don't recognize. none of them were the hott kid i made out with last night. the search continues.
The story about him having a girlfriend changed real fast when he found out that I was a gymnast
I feel like i got beat with a pillowcase full of tequila shots.
maybe next time you'll take an ex boyfriend warning you that she's batshit crazy as a warning instead of a challenge
There is a good chance that the other night after a wedding reception i was at that i mailed you a drink coaster.
Occasionally I curse my inner 15 year old when I'm fulfilling their dreams as a slut, but I roll with it.
I'm so hungover I just peed on my hand and left it, didn't wash... Killin it in 2915
At least they play good movies in the waiting room of the pregnancy resource center.
Not sure if buying Twisted Teas for the alcoholics posted up outside the gas station counts as paying it forward but I am optimistic.
I was eating pickles straight from a jar, contemplating doing something productive. What did I miss?
I’m pretty sure I have teeth marks on my neck
thanks for letting me have sex in your bed, too bad you didn't get to yet
who are you?
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