He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
i just wanna soil my oats bro
i think the fact that he graduated high school the year i graduated elementary school is sexy.
watching a depressing episode of spongebob while high is the most depressing thing i have ever experienced
I think I found my soulmate. This guy in front of me is yelling about getting laid while holding two beers and texting. I think this is love.
you kept screaming i cant feel my vagina, it kinda killed the mood.
Hi, my name's audrey!
Max?
Sorry, this girl is phone-stealing drunk.
I dont have enough money in my bank account to buy a pregnancy test. this wouldnt be the first time ive had to steal one either...
at which point I apparently ran in and shouted "I made the sex with that one!"
May have caused an international incident. More details after we taxi in.
I swear to god, if you fuck the hot one you're paying me back for the shot I just bought her
Day drinking! Today! (tomorrow too!) Our place! Whenever you get off work! Ready go!
why does CNN give a flying $@*# about the royal baby so, so much?
i hope they name him Joffrey
you face planting the wall was epic
did you at least save my tooth
All time low: no dry towels so I'm using the sex towel to dry off
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