I think the fact that my first kiss is now in a porno says a lot about why my life is the way it is
I wish I could walk around this campus with a big stamp that says "Approved" and just stamp girls asses as they pass.
will barter weed for kareoke machine...
I've had balls on my face twice in last 48 hours and I STILL haven't got laid!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He took off his priest costume and proceeded to dryhump the teletubby.
You are the only person I have ever seen offer your other drink to the bouncer on two fors night
Bouncers are people too...giant angry people
Well I think I made it pretty obvious I wasn't in to it. I was drinking a beer while he was going down in me
She is currently drunk and caressing my professor's face with one hand.
I'm worried because he hasn't removed it.
I'm having a hard time existing right now. When I figure out how it works ill be over.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Drinking and pointing where stuff needs to go is hard stuff.
When the strippers start dancing to Christmas songs it's time to get the fuck out!
I don't know. I wanna do you but I also want a cheeseburger.
Just had to double check that I had pants on. THAT kind of weekend.
He just kept repeating "It was like meep meep meep on my balls."
I got really worried when i woke up and there weren't any missed booty calls from him between 3 and 5 am. Apparently his gf is in town ...
Randomize