my mom asked me how i could steal on a clear conscious and i told her it was because when i was younger she let me watch alladin and he did it.
I'm pretty sure my roommate has taken plan B more times than i've had sex. Not sure how that makes me feel.
so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
We tried having a conversation with our noses.
Your dignity remains intact. He, on the other hand, is completely convinced he slept with your cat.
how the fuck is Katelyn 5'1" and 85 lbs and she tackled a bouncer to the ground?
Went to the strip club with my aunt. Do you know how hard it is to be a pervert in front of your female family members?
Both his mom and his sister were hitting on me when I stopped by today. He isn't a real friend anyway, right?
My roommate comes home screaming, I brought you home a friend! I thought she brought me a guy...no, she brought home a one-eyed shih tzu.
YOU CAN'T GET A TATTOO BECAUSE OF KPOP FANFICTION. THAT'S NOT HOW LIFE WORKS
That awkward moment when you're drunk enough to crave cocaine, but you're sober enough to know it's only Tuesday.
Fuck you. You were a total asshole last night.
We will get to that, but can anybody tell me whose fucking socks I am wearing?!
I turn into such a nice and loving person when I take Vicodin
I need to align my fucking chakras
My roommate's overnight guest is screaming about the dog licking his asshole. I need a new place to live.
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