She made me repeat after her: "I take responsibility for what I put in my own mouth."
do you ever facebook stalk someone so much you think their inside jokes are yours?
During sex he wiggled his hips and said "I'm turning the ice cream" Deal breaker?
Even My mom was ashamed of me bringing her home, she pulled me aside, and told me i can do better than, "butter faces"
Did we literally take a cab across the street
I'd hate to be 100% hetero. Pretty sure they have less orgies
He told me my butthole was like "Narnia" and that it's a wonderful place he would like to visit.
Only sluts go out in this weather carpe diem boys
I know everybody has skeletons in their closet but why are all of mine so slutty?
Was booty called last night and I was so blacked out that my roomie made me puke before going to "eye of the tiger." Why I'm still single is beyond me
that man is just a bundle of powerful magic and poor judgment
i woke up in just my socks. my clothes were outside, he had rugburn on his elbows, and a window was broken.
Should I be concerned you put your last name in my phone as "danger"?
My inner 10 year old alcoholic is intrigued.
Even in drag you're still better looking than your sister.
Randomize
