He finally told me that he's married. I guess it doesn't really matter.
been sitting in chapter for 25 minutes. drinking last night's franzia out of a XXX vitamin water 10 bottle. recruitment chair has no idea. life is good.
You were dancing on the bar and fell off into the arms of the hot bartender. It was like a fairy tale, with more alcohol.
5 am is for sleeping. Or getting railed on by a stranger. But never for fundraising. Get real.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They thought I was the paid stripper pretty much, and a lady tried to set me up with her nephew and then wanted to get my number for lesbian daughter... A typical night for me
You were walking around with a baby carrier pretending your vodka was a baby. You tried to get pictures on santas lap
Why is the word 'best' written on my chest?!!
if the future wants me to fuck him, then i guss i have to
I command you to take a shot and dance like the pretty little gay boy you are.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This costume is too restrictive. The priest and I cannot get it on while I am wearing it.
Why are your underwear on my dining room table?
Why didn't you tell me I was calling her by her sisters name all night?
She knew the head wasn't all that so she gave me her taco. I'm will in to give her a second chance.
There was one thing about my NYC trip I forgot to tell you: I took a dump in Trump Tower
I got a pots and pans set and a vibrator. Merry Crisis.
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