I had a bacon mcgriddle for the first time today. It was like eating a baby angel.
This got awkward about two "Oh yeah"s ago.
Drinking bud light and eating rice cakes...this is the closest to getting in shape for spring break as its going to get.
He pulled a potato out of his bag in the library. A WHOLE FRIGGIN POTATO. He ate it like it was an apple and waved at the librarian as she stared at him.
I just did a sobriety test in a tutu.
I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang
He texted back and said he would hook up if he didn't have a test at 8am. It's really hard to be annoyed by how good of a student he is.
Yeah that sucks. That's why I stick to deadbeat sports management majors.
How sad is it that I'm looking in the farm & garden section of craigslist to find a weed dealer. I mean, that's where they'd be right? Just gotta break the code.
So this whole chlamydia situation totally puts a damper on my back to school sex schedule, there's just no way of knowing who of them was the perpetrator... Time for new candidates
Cooked breakfast with his mom this morning...I'm like the housewife of one night stands
So I come back home and a huge flock of enormous vultures are on my roof
They're waiting for you to die
They way I see it is I've wasted 7 years of having these glorious tits. I only have about 3 good years left before idk kids or just gravity takes over and they don't look this nice so it's basically open season.
I came home with 30lbs of BBQ last night. I can't pick up women in a bar but I sure can pick up leftovers from a corporate party.
I am eating a fluff-a-nutter sandwich at the gym right now. I brought vodka too.
My life is far to together for someone who's such a hot mess inside
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