if i had a dollar for every time ive had to piece a night together like they did in "the hangover", i bet i could outsell their weekend box office earnings...
Wow. 8.8 earthquake hit Chile this morning
didn't feel it. :)
It's like 5 thousand miles away of course you didn't.
wait what? so it's not in america?
my mom just poured a water bottle of wine to take my dog on a walk...
he broke into my appartment and left me a waffle maker...
My mom just invited me to come with them on their honeymoon to Mexico this summer. And I got a Bump-It in my stocking.
Pass the awkward sauce please.
I'm drowning in it here
scream really loud. we think you crawled under the deck
I liked a picture of him with his pants around his ankles, if that doesn't say I'm into you, I don't know what does.
Want to go home, so casually slip my underwear in his pocket. Never seen him grin so big and say goodbye to his friends.
You chugged 6 beers in a row and then outed your boss at a party last night.
You were fine, but your knee injury definitely came from interpretive dancing like a gay fairy with lead wings all around the Mission St BART. Everyone thought you were on drugs.
I just had sex on a roof
If my dick was big enough to fuck the eye of a hurricane, I would.
I just realized how terrible that was... I was drumming on your penis to a song about Baby Jesus.
If I ever drink whiskey again make sure I don't eat the plastic cups that I'm drinking them from.
.......do you have the salami in bed? I'm trying to make a sandwich.
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