We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
Just threw up my room service breakfast with my fake eyelashes and pearls still on.
Well, we missed our public lewdness court date. Looks like were going to jail in Alabama ...
I was literally just a half conscious dildo.
i've hooked up with him and three of his roommates and not a single one of them knows about it..think its safe to say i found the silver lining in a boys inability to communicate
Do you remember that time on the drunk bus when I kept thanking the bus driver for serving our country?
As I was climbing out of the pool he slapped my ass and said 'stay golden', i don't know why but it felt right.
Yeah haha but we have no idea where his keys are. Last night was awful. Him and Chancey were in a fully embraced bro hug at one point. Both crying.
Opened the apartment door and the smell of sex and weed literally slapped me across the face. Kudos.
My dick looks like crazy bread
pics are now mandatory
He stopped his car in the middle of ongoing traffic to ask me to marry him. Then he got pulled over. Yeah I'd say the slutty Dallas Cowboys costume was a success.
Your hotness may or may not have landed him in jail.
I just want to have sex and eat dumplings. Is that so much to ask?
In other news, I just sent her a video of me masturbating while driving in the rain, so I guess you could say I've mastered Snapchat
She squirted. We were both surprised. I'm that good.
Its pretty bad when you can tell twins apart by the size of their penises...
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