Overheard: "his girlfriend fucks him with the lights off. It's not serious."
lmfao. well really. it's not love if you cringe at the site of his anus.
Her bacne/racne was so bad it was like having sex with bubble wrap.
Its piss that you smell... I borrowed that shirt last week. Sooo, wanna grab some laundry soap on your way home? And good luck on your date.
One person in the car. Three blizzards. Alot of judging.
when the police officer said he was gonna take a picture of the car accident, you asked if you should pose on the hood
Congrats on having the best tasting nipple at the bar last night.
I may or may not have traded sexual favors for Disney on Ice tickets.
I've been trying to brush my teeth for 20 mins now... Mother of hangovers.
The yoga party turned into an underwear party because we are all incompetent when it comes to tying bed sheets.
This has been a Party Success Story
At least I made out with him before he made out with that dog...
She really has to stop the coke at some point. Won't she run out of money eventually?
Won't she run out of nose eventually?
He also wore a doorag last night so i had to swipe left.
Sorry about the Christmas balls dude. At the time I thought they were festive as fk but I see now I've just spent too much time on the internet
you know maybe it wouldnt be so bad if it hadnt happened before. At least I didnt blow him this time
So what we learned was that it doesn't matter how skinny the stripper is, if she sits on your knee with a torn acl for two hours it's going to swell up
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