Never fear I pulled out... she had "lies about taking birth control" written all over her
If he comes back to you and I'm left alone in lonelytown I'm totally going to poo on your car.
We should steal a little kid and go to Chucke Cheese
i got pulled over in my 'cops love me' tshirt. he didn't think it was funny when i pointed it out.
I don't think its a good idea if I moon a whole bar again
Hey guys, just to let you know, I have a boyfriend...so that hookup was kind of a one time thing.
was that a mass text??
you threw up out the window, wiped your face with a twenty dollar bill, and threw that out the window too.
did we at least go back and get it?
how else do you think we got jack in the box...?
you just kept bragging about how there was a "pretty large" chance that you had pooped on the same toilet as George Clooney
He was banging holes in the kitchen wall with pots. They tried to pull him away but only managed to pants him. He kept "drumming".
I have got to stop getting laid on my lunch breaks. I AM SO HUNGRY RIGHT NOW.
She said " I'm going to get her back one day soon for putting extacy in my pop while I drove her to whislter" just a heads up.
I'm a gay man planning my brothers bachelor party, and he choose someone else to be his best man. I hope they like appltinis and gay clubs. Bastard.
I taped a pair of scissors and a coupon for a waxing on the door. He gets to choose.
Thursday is not a good day to become a felon... It's bingo night
I think I might start referring to your vagina as a separate being now
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