We'll probably be arrested for having a cheetah in our apartment anyway, so I say go for it.
No she hasen't showed up to my place yet, last I heard she was puking as she was walking without stopping near the park.
Seriously. He was just sitting there naked in the dark with a boner pissed that I came home late.
He likes Jesus. Game over.
Oooh wait, he just told me he was high.
I woke up spooning with a broom that someone taped a mustache too..i need to stop starting my nights by drinking "hangover" wine.
He's my BOYFRIEND but he won't sext me. I'll be like, "tell me how you want to fuck me", and he's like, "I love how we can talk about our feelings". FUCK
You're lucky you got out when you did, about an hour later the girl in the Franzia box started wrestling everyone.
Best case scenario you died and I melt into poo
Some how my underwear was hanging from the antlers of a antelope head on the wall of the hotel........
He literally just patted me on the vagina and said goodnight to it.
So now I know what having sex while surrounded by chickens feels like.
Really I don't care what we're doing or watching. Your penis spends way too much time outside of my body.
If he wants a future he'd best figure out the calendar function on his phone. If he can invite you to his penis he can invite you to his google cal.
we got cockblocked by his mom again...its like she has a radar on me
please stop trying to sleep with him
Dick is dick. I’m not turning it down because he’s younger than me. Covid has been a real cockblock and I’m a woman with needs
Randomize
