i think the semi hot bartender might actually be a man in drag..on a similar note, what are you drinking?
Her vagina smelled like bad decisions
there are 2 things i love giving: blowjobs & backrubs. how can i tell them that without sounding like a slut
So the next morning, she had to tell her kids we were moving furniture around all night.
I puked all over his apartment, then slept with the skinniest girl here. Which isn't saying much in Ohio.
got one for peeing in public....called the cop a donut dunking communist...should be a fun court appearance
I just saw two homeless guys bond over the fact that they both use Crown Royal bags as wallets in Burger King.
Our first order of business as new roommates was to test the sex acoustics of our rooms. I need a new box spring.
I'm gonna eat you out. But for science
Taking care of a girl who just peed on my floor so tonight is not a good night for sex
You told us that you were going to become a 'new man' and threw your tv set out of a window.
You were petting a 40 year old man's moustache for 15 minutes
im drinking out of a pineapple, so yea.
And here I am, playing fetch with my cat at two in the morning.
Can you cover for me after lunch? I’ve never seen a guy who cums as much as my new Side Dick so now I need to clean the house before my husband gets home
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