Situation: He got it in my eye, how long do I let it sting before should start to worry?
i bet even starving children in Africa take the crust off their poptarts
im over her. I got weed and youtube. everything i could ever ask for.
you just used "cock block" and "youth group" in the same sentence. somethings wrong with you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she kept her crown on the whole time i was giving her birthday sex
Btw, I'm creating an event on fb to celebrate the one yr anniversary since we went to jail.
Your excessive judging is making this uncomfortable
It would only make sense that I'd cheat on him with his best friend on the ides of march...
This girl ordered Hershey syrup and red wine and he made it for her
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My mom asked me if I ever go on dates. I had to suppress the urge to ask if having casual sex with a freshmen counts as dating
You should be glad you didn't come with last night. I watched pirate porn for the first time in my life as the 9th wheel.
either I'm really high or that last bong rip tasted like christmas
I started the day with dreams of getting laid and ended it with the reality of eating Taco Bell in my bed with my dog.
Do you know who changed all my phone contacts into characters from Harry Potter?
He Who Must Not Be Named.
Fuck you.
Listen this is important.. if I die tonight you have to be the drug dealer at my funeral
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