So, I'm pretty sure I just jacked off and my gf 17 m/o son caught me. IDK how long he was standing in the crib, but he definately saw the grand finale.
You never realize just how much you have to be thankful for until you almost shit yourself in a Target.
she's got that wholesome 16 and pregnant look.
We were hooking up and you crawled into bed with us, because you had lost your phone and didn't "want to be alone at a time like this."
just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
Defiantly just threw away our yearly bottle collection in front of the campus tour. The school should pay me for recruitment
Why do I have flashes of a dark shed in my memory?
Because we had sex in one.
No, no, no. Fuck you. I took a glass blowing class solely to learn how to make that bong. You shattered it and my dreams in a matter of five seconds.
I now have a GPA requirement for guys I hookup with more than once.
dude when I get home wanna help me fulfill my dream of smoking a bowl out of my saxophone?
You know, having a conversation evolve from attractive men to roommate orgies would be weird with anyone else, but you get me.
You called my nipples compassionate. What does that even mean?
You know you're in the hamptons when it's 10pm And you kind of want to vomit white wine on rug that costs more than your apartment.
I guess that means I was blowing a nerd last week.
And loving it.
the sex got boring after the first three hours
holy shit
Randomize
