why does he think he needs to feed/take me out to get some ass? we are at a bar wasting my fucking time
Just got arrested at PF changs. Happy New year, China
As soon as he told me I had a 'pretty laugh' I knew I'd be putting out more than I had originally planned.
It's safe to say that our attempt at trying to fuck in the grand Sierra elevator was a bad idea.
I'll call you tomorrow. I'm ok and back i love you goodnight.
I stole a bike. Here's a pic
he's dressed up as pikachu 3 fucking years in a row and gotten laid each time. i don't understand
Well this lady at the bar told me I was a natural on the tambourine and that it was my God given talent. and then she gave me a tambourine.
Exactly. This is the bit where I learn a heartwarming lesson about not making my drinks half vodka
Pitting the remainder of the bottle against my hangover. I'm expecting an all out cage match for my soul and wellbeing.
All I've done today is make sangria and wonder what the hell I'm doing with my life.
If I can ever get control of my legs I will be home. Thanks... and again sorry about your bed.
no we have a special triathlon I'm entering us in. drinking, fucking, and sleeping. I think we have a good shot.
fries before guys. food before dudes. shakes before dates. chips before dicks. lemon bars before football stars. macaroni before screwin' tony. what i'm saying is please come to ladies' night
He was leaving the restaurant I was going to as I was parking. I didn't want to scream, "hey, didn't I jerk you off?" Out of my window at 10 am
and i thought it was paint or jizz but it was cheese
please tell me you didnt taste test that
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