I have fifteen cents in cash and 80 cents in the bank. BUT I have weed.
besides im still about 80% sure that im eskimo brothers with jerry springer
My boyfriend woke me up in the middle of the night to have sex with me right before I had sex with another guy in my dream. What a unique sixth sense his penis has.
like stop trying to get a relationship out of this when i'm clearly in the drunken mistakes part of my life.
At what point did we decide It was a good idea t have a wheelbarrow race in the parking lot?
I was afraid that she would smell her boyfriend's penis on my breath while we were talking.
Good thing I took the morning after pill cuz I pretty much had packaged seamen in me like I was a squirrel saving it for later or something
We're at the hospital. She got a head rush and fell and now blood everywhere. Smoke the rest, just save her a bowl
the straight edge chick smoked with me, because according to her my bowl is pretty
you dont know your limits until you wake up with a black eye and a bruised rib and find out you got ran over by a bicycle last night
This country song on the radio just had a rap break. What. No. Why.
It's a little hazey but I think I tried to request Nelly last night. There was no dj. Not sure who I was talking to
just call my name and ill be there, if we are puking, beating up bitches, or pickin up men, OR avoiding wierd men, so many situations require a wingman
So after we found out he wasnt throwing up blood in was just hawaiian punch and we all failed breathalyzers the cop drove us around like a taxi and brought us back to the apartment
I wasn't talking about him I meant his penis! Its not a pet
Oh. Well it should be. I like petting it.
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