I wanna wear you like a flannel shirt
I haven't seen Daniella all day...are you sure she was safe going home with that guy?
oh don't worry! i asked him if he was a rapist. he said no
he keeps his weed in a birkenstock shoe box. its like, we get it, youre from oregon.
I gave the naked guy in the hotel hall a pop tart. He stopped crying.
I'm going to start telling people I'm a sophomore so they stop asking me about college and what I want to do with my life
He ate me out like a beaver on a tree. I've never been so scared in my life
Just got a nosebleed, my period and the runs all at the same time. I'm either dying, or this is the first sign of the apocalypse. You warning you in case it's the latter.
Discovery: bouncers seem to get really upset about fire
When we were texting for those few weeks, I some how established a crush on you. And its weird and wild and stupid and silly. But these things just have to be said sometimes to determine what's real and what is infatuation. And to suffer the consequences of five am drunk philosophy. No regrets.
I know you're very busy with sleep and things, but when you wake up we need to talk about weirdly shaped penises.
He fucked me over, so I'm going to do what any rational woman does. I'm going to get really high and have sex with his brother.
How did you interpret 'wheat thins' from 'vaginal trauma'?
I’ve seen not one, but three Facebook articles on my feed today about “how to eat ass”. Idk what the universe is trying to tell me but it’s needs to chill
It was weird, it was like my heart got a boner. Is this being an adult?
He just compared fucking my vagina to a snow flake falling on his forehead: gentle.... I'm not sure if that's a compliment or not.
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