just heard a tri-delta girl talking about her drunken escapades last weekend...it's like the exact plotline to a hardcore porno.
The only thing the cop asked me is..... "how are you still alive"?
that's not even the weird part though. he already knew where the bathroom was, he might have been here before..
My afternoon will now be spent googling genital warts. I think my life is over.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I dont know how to say this. But the hottest girl where im at has one arm.
i should probably stop thinking with my vagina, and start using that $70, 000 education i can't afford. what the fuck.
It was one of those nights where you get back from the bar and end up staying up till 3AM beating off to facebook photos of girls from college
All I want to do is sleep. And If I'm not sleeping, I want to be eating or fucking. I'm pretty sure being pregnant has turned me into a dude.
Dude. My knees have no hair on them and they're bruised. My thigh is killing me. I have about 1000 texts to about 5 exes which I horribly regret. I have pictures of my own penis on my phone. I can't find my iPad. And I have work in an hour.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Def over. He sent me a nude selfie but cropped it right above his junk. Total Silence of the Fucking lambs looking.
I beer bonged before it even hit 4 o' clock. Please get on my level homecoming style.
The cops spotted my on my walk of shame down the boardwalk and gave me a ride home. I'm starting to make a name for myself here.
Guess who just hooked up with a guy who was wearing a shirt from his mom's "dress up closet"?!
Okay, let's just all take a step back and think about how funny this will seem in like a year... Maybe 2 if his nose is actually broken.
In celebration of finishing my homework, lets drink tea w/ vodka
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