I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
I just saw a pair of panties stretched over a fire hydrant on campus... I need to get the fuck out of this town
My scrabble letters just formed failure. Thanks God.
Honestly dude, i think you should ignore the restraining order if you really love her.
You told me alcohol would be the death of you then ordered 10 shots of tequila.
Ya know, sometimes when he kisses me in public I want to scream "HE DRIVES A PORSCHE!" so people watching understand that I don't have low standards, I'm just very materialistic.
took 4 advil with a shot of vodka, figure i'd try to save myself now
"Don't get as drunk as I was on my birthday" has been upgraded from a goal for Friday night to a goal for my life in general.
My prof gave me extra credit for drawing a ninja on my paper and writing "ninja will up my grade"
if you didn' use the plastic sword on the cop. maybe this wouldn't have happened.
Basically taped my dick down because it's too obvious in this costume...
well theres no bloody mary mix at the campus bookstore so i dont even know what its good for
I'm more heavily invested in that tequila than you are
We broke into a construction site had sex on a scissor lift and realized it was a church...tomorrow again??
we used a blowdryer last night to warm up our left over pizza..it worked perfectly at first..but then the chili powder got into his eyes..
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