Yours is on the dinner table...mine is in my underwear drawer.
Its way too early to be sitting naked at his dining room table...
So I just went to student health services and on my way in there was a girl outside on her phone saying "I just dont want you to be angry" and on my way out she was saying "I have the side effects sheet right here" Someone started the semester off classy
I think his glow in the dark Star Wars sheets, at the time, really turned me on.
I just got hit on by my highschool french teacher. I need to stop going to this bar.
Living well is not the best revenge. Fucking his brother is.
It's christmas eve and my mom blacked out before me. If she beat me at that, what have I been learning at college?
Me sprinting out of your house without my bra or shoes is our entire relationship defined in a single moment.
Rough day
Good thing I've started drinking again
How bad was it?
Stopped drinking Sunday, hungover on Tuesday bad.
I'm sorry about the spring break comment. I won't make anymore pornos, I promise.
I was eating pickles straight from a jar, contemplating doing something productive. What did I miss?
fuck school, let's just become the worst strippers ever
Dude this weed has me so paranoid.
Yeah tell me about it I just screamed after I coughed because my own cough scared me.
Who the fresh hell put 2 pillows a raincoat and a guitar on top of me to keep me warm last night
Randomize
