Everyone knows that the fastest route to a corporate advancement is to take a shot in the mouth
I wish i could clap on, clap off my penis
we decided to do a scavenge hunt for ourself for when we walked back to our apartments. We hid taco bell behind some bushes. I think they are still good.
One of my coworkers just invited me to a wet t-shirt contest this weekend in honor of her son's 21st Birthday.
We can add pilot to the list of people who's lives I've changed...with my penis.
You destroyed the landscape if my vagina FOREVER.
Think of this as an opportunity. Like Jesus just opened up his closet, and inside is an endless supply of huge, beautiful cock.
Just realized how sopa could affect my ability to watch porn, son of a bitch
Just traded the drive-through guy at BK a Dos Equis for a Hershey pie before noon... win?
I could just tape a camera with a live feed to my head & you could check in on me from time to time
the dj asked me quote "are you sure you're sober enough to do this?" And I grabbed the mic from him and said "ill fucking show you sober- HIT IT". I also dropped the mic at the end so he had to come around and pick it up
Shania Twain would have been proud
She invited me to Bikini Yoga with her friends. Sounds promising.
the problem is i have six tabs of acid in my freezer and no self control
It was like if the scent of sour milk and burning tires had a baby in taste form.
We found you with your penis in the vacum hose crying softly...
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