He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
Last night we were drunk and talking about rude things, I mentioned felching and had to explain it to everyone. Everyone was disgusted and asked how I knew about such filth and I told them you told me. Don't get mad. Also a quck heads up, you might get gifts of straws at work,
some girl had on jean underwear. i hate america.
Lindsay lohan: road to jail is on E tonight. Bring vodka we are not missing an opportunity to make a drinking game out of this
He bought me shots at the bar as his way of of paying me back for Plan B
I'm pretty sure it all started going downhill last night when they suggested I see how much sambuca I could fit in my mouth
who dressed up as a cop at your party???
idk I have to check. Why?
he gave me the best strip search of my life. FIND HIM.
Walk of shaming into my apartment. No one to clap me in. Come home!
There are grandparents doing keg stands I don't know
LIKE ALL I WANT TO CURE MY HANGOVER IS PORKROLL AND LIKE 85% OF THIS COUNTRY DOESN'T KNOW WHAT IT IS
While I'm here in reality dreaming of catching chili cheese fries with my mouth out of t shirt guns like Jesus is real
So it's official...my sex life has improved since Pokemon came out...
Lots of tissues. Maybe pizza. Only time will tell. The stages of political grief.
We drunkenly made out once four years ago and then he immediately vomited and honestly I've never gotten over him
The best thing about last night is when drunk Lauren asked cop if she could smoke a joint in front of him. And next thing I remember she’s smoking weed with a cop. How awesome is that.
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