Saw a dead body on the way to the casino. I think that's a good sign.
Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
i take joy in having bigger boobs than others
Blowing lines off from the book where the wild things are... bad babysitter?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wish I was that guy from the miller light commercials so I could walk into parties and take peoples beer without getting yelled at
Apparently faking a threesome isn't as much fun as you'd think
i'm only riding in the trunk because they put the case of beer back here..
im sober
you just pulled your sweatpants out of your bag and thanked them for being alive
Lots of alcohol last night skiing this morning = me throwing up off chairlift
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I want to miss work tomorrow on account of violent projective vomit... Make it happen
I told him I wanted to "ride him like a show pony" I think he gets the picture
Is this one of those "if you didnt give such good head we couldn't be friends" moments?
She was touching herself and looking a shoes online. My debt is bad enough without bringing that hot mess into my life.
I danced shirtless on a platform with a fucking stripper who went to MIT
Today we memorialize my orgasms. Taken from me over six months ago, gone too soon. Here's to hoping we'll see one again
Randomize