see you put your penis in her and it's like an ignition key to start the crazy
Yeudjkisdjxbfceryuj. i love having a qwerty keyboard just so i can do that.
Being a responsible DD does not include attempting to coordinate a 4 taxi caravan to bar #3
I think all I remember saying is, "I love Chris Berman's voice" and then I passed out
All I remember from last night is petting the broom with my feet and feeling like I was standing on a horses head
I was pissing in the urinal at the concert and some drunk chick ran in and yelled 'but the lines to fucking long' then ran out with 10 state troopers chasing her... Yeah
We've reached the point in our fuck buddy relationship where we are playing words with friends. This is too intimate.
Obviously you've never slept with someone who was deliverance level inbred.
And on that day, Satan said; "Let there be the friend zone and let us get fucking high." while Jesus silently cried in the background.
I would not be watching the debate if there wasn't drinking involved. Let's be honest.
your vagina must have magic restorative powers I feel rested and powerful this morning.
I think the last straw was when you put on ice skates to go across the waxed wooden floor.
And that's the fourth pair of yoga pants with unwashable stains from you.
Is it really bad that my last patient offered to fuck my brains out if I gave her IV morphine...and I gave her my phone number and told her when my shift is over?
A million fucking miles away, and the sun still manages to fuck my hungover mornings up.
Randomize
