Is it wrong that I didn't stop masterbating when the credit card company called?
did you answer or finish?
both
The stories of what you did in Cuba got home before you.
You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
I have this strange craving to see a really fat person go down a slipnslide
I went out in the middle of the night to smoke my weed.. Didn't realize my dad was sitting on the patio doing the exact same thing..
You act like I'm the first person to try and hook up with a blind chick.
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
don't tell me about being eco-friendly. i just threw up in the same bag i bought my liquor in. RECYCLING
He asked if I smoke and I said "only fools like you on the basketball court!" Then I started crying. I think I'm about to have my period.
I also love beards. The playoffs are like christmas for my vagina.
Part of me was thinking I should go old school and get a chasity belt before the semester starts. Really lock that shit down. But then I thought, fuck that. I'm going to hit that campus like an f5 whorenado
I should make a collage of all the pictures of me caught doing slutty things
If I ever go to jail it will be because of you, I can feel it.
I feel like dick that good should always be within a five kilometre radius of me.
I may have been bent over an elementary school lunch table a few weeks ago. Don't judge.
Randomize
