We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
If only Ben were 51% gay instead of 49%
waiting in line for my ID. the kid in front of me reaks of hopes and dreams and hornyness-- freshmen by calvin klein
that was after you ironed the burrito. didn't leave much cheese on the ironing board though
You mailed him a break up letter, because you thought the "joy of receiving a letter" would ease the pain of you dumping him.
nah we got kicked outta the bar after the bouncer saw us putting straws up Chelsea's nose to make her look like a walrus after she fell asleep at the table
So watch family guy till our brains melt and then bang till our bodies hurt?
My mom said she saw you at the bar last night and asked how you were. She said, you replied with, "Oh you know, just knocked up."
Figured I'd get right to the point
Oh god. Standing was a rash decision
I made it to Starbucks to do work and I've just been sitting here with my head on the table for 30 minutes...
There's a bag in my room with garbage, a thong, fritos, and an electrical cord. I'm assuming it's yours
........yyyyyyeah that's me
No! Last time I got hit with a beer bottle
Haha, Tuesday man
how should I feel if a guy kept complimenting my bangs while I was giving him a blowjob?
We woke up on vday and got high and played frisbee in our living room for a couple hours and then had sex. It was probably the most romantic valentine's day i've ever had
I am officially in a love triangle with my celebrity crush
Heard flapping noises behind me. It was my roommate flapping her bathrobe like wings, saying "I'm a faaaiiiiry."
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