im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
I hid a 6pack in the microwave for later
I knew I liked you
I wish they had nachos that got you drunk
imagine if the morning after your status automatically updated with the name of the person you hooked up with
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We ran out of toilet paper the last week, so we just took showers to pee
If there was a game called "keeping your legs shut," I would lose every time.
VAGINAS ASSEMBLE!
I'm not seeing this movie with you.
Remind me to call McDonald's to give a good review of Ruth. She truly demonstrated grace under pressure.
All I've had today is a brownie and a shot of Jack, so you know. I'm doing ok.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Romney sounds like a middle school girl and that creepy ass smile makes me want to close my blinds
I dont think I should be allowed to pick my own boyfriends anymore
I told this guy in the dining hall that he's a hippie god and he's never made eating yogurt so sexy
I was about to take him home and fuck his brains out but then the police came and arrested him for the stolen credit card he had been buying me drinks with all night...
I need you there. I need someone to glance at when other people inevitably annoy me.
You gotta come over now. He is eating cupcakes while they are still in the foil.
Randomize