I think im pregnant
I think you have the wrong number
He said he only talked to me because I talk dirty in bed.
Warning...her vagina is big, like sleeping bag big.
You said that we had to leave the party together and proceeded to repeat the "ducks fly together" speech from The Mighty Ducks word for word. Soon the whole party was quite and started chanting quack..quack...quack..
Bank of America texted me 7 times in 12 hours to say my balance was below $50. I kept transfering money back in. Then I texted my bank saying that it was okay, i knew what I was doing.
You need to tell him your pregnant or we need to stop playing doubles beer-pong. My liver is begging you.
Even her dad came up for the body shots. Wasn't sure what to do so I just laid there and let it happen...
Dude if it is ever said "everybody get inside the police helicopter just showed up.". That means it was a successful party.
I'm almost positive that you shat in a birdhouse
See! Theres potential!
Oh yeah. All good relationships start with a threesome.
Why did I see a weird snapchat of you barking at McDonald's last night?
I told him I was on my period but he says "I'm a doctor, you think I can't handle blood?" And just went for it. Jackpot
Come by so you can take a pregnancy test with me. It's like my monthly ritual!
I'd give my right arm to start my period. My right arm. Thats more significant then my left.
I'm floating on a rainbow and a purple elf is giving me advice. COME NOW!!!
Randomize
