i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
just got pizza delivered to the hot tub. its easier than i thought to be this lazy
Your sister reminds me of me at her age. Stop her while you can.
Thanks for convincing the hot dog guy to give me one for $1 after I drunkenly dropped the first one. I loved your reasoning "I know you mark that shit up! I work in retail!"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So i think i'm going to frame my summons tickets and give them to dad as a christmas present...
I really hope your new roommate never finds out we had a threesome with a bisexual British guy in his room the night before he moved in.
Thanks for the cold. I shartted and sat through a whole soccer game. James made 3 scores.
I won't trust your judgement until the word stripper doesn't make me laugh
do you ever feel so high you're swimming backstroke and then you realize you're still laying in bed on tumblr
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have no idea what those words in that order meant, but if you go to Florida send me pics of strippers
He was the only one not on Xanax so he holds the key to what actually happened last night
You called me into the kitchen so you could show me that you were peeing in the kitchen sink and then told me to leave bc you couldn't do it with me watching
I gave him a BJ in the shower
I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
My friend Julia's mom just called her to say she got a puzzle in the mail made of cheese and when she put it together it spelled FUCK YOU and she doesn't know who it's from.
Remind me to do laundry tomorrow so i have something decent to take off when i get laid.
Randomize