Ok let's jusst not talk today bc then we'll just do dangerous things but I'll say hello
YOU CAN MICROWAVE POPTARTS!?!??!
And he just showed me his vera bradley wallet...
just saw the guy i hooked up with last nights' face on a billboard. win.
I hope my liver is having as much fun as I am
watching my parents drink 4 loko out of usf cups playing pool and rocking out to ACDC...
Can I come live with you?
Now there are nude photos of that bangin hot Russian spy chick...this is officially the best scandal ever.
Damn it if I pass out in the bathroom one more time this month im going to rehab...
She's never going to forget it... Christmas Anal.
Talking to her is like watching "Bad Life Choices: The Movie"
apparently when a guy says "if there's anything missing in your life, I will provide" he's not expecting attractive lesbians to be the answer.
I survive off of bourbon and the tears of others only
That's pretty intense. There aren't many people I would pick over a burrito
it’s my vagina i can do what i want to
how the FUCK did i spend 25 dollars at 50 cent beer night?
Randomize
