is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
So I fucked an Aussie broad with huge feeders last nite 2x... Before banging her she was blowin me & I thought: "SHE IS GOIN DOWN-UNDER ON ME". Laughed out loud
the not having weed thing wouldnt be nearly as tragic if it wasnt the one holiday where they launch bright flaming things into the air
he just tried to lick my eyebrow. thats the deal breaker.
is it a bad thing if he can only get off when i start talking like one of the girls from Jersey Shore??
It was like fucking a house. Down the chimney. That deep and empty.
so what if he's got a new girlfriend. the guy i'm fucking has an english accent. i win.
He literally just walked in some random persons house and walked right to they're pantry. Then five minutes later he walks out with pop-tarts, mac and cheese, and captain morgan. We need to chill with this kid more often.
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
Results of pregaming honors college basketball social: 18 points, 3 blocks, and 3 flagrant fouls leading to 2 broken bones on former valedictorians. I'm doing this more often.
If drinking before honors events and injuring our universities brightest doesn't get you kicked out of the program, you're not trying hard enough.
Apparently I was so drunk I threw my entire wallet at the stripper on stage. That was the third time I should've gotten kicked out.
I feel like you guys are talking about real things and have real problems and I'm just over here like 'should I take muscle relaxers or get drunk tonight?'
I'm just crazy horny about you
Ripping out my IUD in Dave and busters bathroom
snapping my married booty call and next thing I know a plan b ad pops up
Randomize
