I need to start cutting my cocaine with Plan B
P.S. theres no milk for breakfast, but theres plenty of beer or red wine. you decide.
I'm sorry i'm just too high to handle anything besides pirates of the caribbean right now.
I'm sitting by myself in my bra eating a waffle and drinking pineapple rum. gamedaaaayyyyyyy
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We're learning about the color wheel. Hello college.
True. I'd rather snort cocaine off a homeless guy then work on the weekend...Actually that may not be that bad.
Had to. She was getting married in 2 days & her vag was having a close out sale. You know I love a good bargain.
You know you've got awesome issues when the main deciding factor of whether or not to cut your nails depends on nacho consumption in the near future
I just had to call my mom to come pick me up stoned at a Lana's house and beg her to buy me Taco Bell. I'm graduating from college in 14 hours. Fuck
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you need anything just hit me up
Pancakes
Noted.
Blowing a married man is so much more important than a 12 year olds basketball game.
Something about finishing sexting a guy and him going "well. I have to get ready for Passover now" really makes me rethink my life choices
Someone took a shit in the house somewhere and I STILL can't find it. I'm just going to move.
Like I could say no to two hot people already naked and fucking. Please. I'm not made of stone.
Twice?!
Unfortunately i'm awake, hungover, and covered in something I'm pretty sure is Easy Cheese. Send help.
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