i wonder why nobody wants to date me...im doing a crossword at work and asked out loud: whats a 4 letter word for 'a reason to get married?'
i was like PREG?
Its about time the women of america have a president they can masturbate to again
I may or may not have melted a dent into the top of my minifridge with my hot glue gun, which I left on for the past couple hours unsupervised, while we were on our salvo/savers excursion. Welcome to Halloween in college.
He just bought a 100-pack of condoms of Amazon. My vagina is already tired.
Just took my pill on time for two days in a row. I deserve a prize.
Not having phil's child is good enough.
The handjob she gave me was better than the best blowjob I've ever gotten.. Just imagine the possibilities.
you described his penis as a "portable fishing pole"
He has in a pan: ten pieces of bacon, two cloves of garlic, an egg (not scrambled or hard boiled, just an egg) and frozen corn.
He ate me out while I was wearing a tiara.... I think I could get used to this
My adult sexuality and some of the best memories of my childhood collided like a Pee Wee Herman wet dream.
Elaborate
Strip Mario-Kart
Today's forecast is horny with strong chance of booty calls. Low of Craigslist cruising, and a high of climaxing in a stranger's bed.
I bought him bourbon as a thank you for his apology. What is wrong with me?
No like you fell onto the fence. I don't even know how you got into the fenced in area.
I can't really feel a difference, so essentially I paid 60 bucks to bedazzle my vag.
I'm seriously scared right now. Woke up next to 3 geese and a lot of feathers ..
Randomize
