I just did your MASH and your life is pretty unfortunate. Youre marrying the tech guy for love. you live in a shack and you're a hooker and you make $1 a day. you drive a brown limo and you have 7 kids
just ate pastrami before passing out in my hotel room. My room smells like a petting zoo
i was taking the test and had to adjust my boner and my teacher thought i was cheating or something
A girl limped into my class 15 minutes late wearing sunglasses, leggings, and a kiss me im irish shirt. She sat down and took her glasses off and im pretty sure she only had one eye's makeup still on. Someone had a great st pattys day.
Drunkenly auctioned off my bed for 3 tequila shots
Just hooked up with a girl I met in line at Taco Bell. I told you leave me to do my own thing and I'll get it in
Nobody has seen her in 3 days. Should we call the cops or hope this is just another drunk Carmen San Diego game she's playing?
I am far too hungover to deal with the fact I can hear you masturbating in the bathroom.
What made this night legendary was getting pulled over for looking suspicious while wearing an iron man mask
Oh boy. Send him a care package with laxative cookies and alcohol. So he can shit himself while he's passed out drunk.
Based on the grey fur I pulled from my teeth, I think her vagina has mice.
I can't decide if this outfit makes me look like a pirate. I also can't decide if I care if it does.
Carver called his mom a milf again
Was it on purpose this time?
He literally said from now on he's always banging chicks with asthma becuas it's such an ego booster
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
Randomize
