True but thats because hes a fetus.
Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
I want you to know that wearing office supplies as jewelry results in waking up with the wrong roommate. Also, strip clubs and vodka don't mix.
How am I supposed to spread my seed with you "modern women" and your birth control?
I cut holes in my blanket and put my arms through it. It's the sleeveless "Bro Edition" Snuggie.
they bought blue cups instead of red...wtf how am i supposed to pretend im on laguna beach??
Someone else needs to become the bad example in our group
But you wear shame so well
Vegas is great, yelled at a guy 4 lanes over if he wanted a bj. ended up having sex in a vacant lot. I think he was homeless.
And that is why we dont do tequila shooters at 1 in the afternoon. Because you go home with a beast like that
This is not 2004 anymore. It's not acceptable to get fingered while watching 'Ferngully' in a basement full of your friends.
That's not "anything", that's you deep throating a mozzarella stick.
I wonder how horrible I look to customers. There's cuts all over my face and I can't talk.
What are the cuts from? Head-butting the bathroom light fixture?
Honestly that's best case scenario.
Just escaped from the ER. Meet me at the bar in 20 minutes.
i should probably stop doing things just because i think they’re funny. i’m not going to.
It really hurts to walk. Any idea what happened to my hip?
Randomize
