I just did your MASH and your life is pretty unfortunate. Youre marrying the tech guy for love. you live in a shack and you're a hooker and you make $1 a day. you drive a brown limo and you have 7 kids
Call me at 7:30 and make sure I'm not asleep in this booth at Waffle House.
you never know when you'll meet the man of your dreams and bang him in an elevator
so i walked in, looked up the stairs and all i saw was smashed pumpkin, tube socks, and marinara sauce
its mom's weekend..did we need to couger proof the apt?
Using a Nedi Pot after doing lines... at least I'm a health conscious drug user?
The girl behind me in psych just tapped me on my shoulder to tell me there was a condom wrapper in my hood.
I once puked on the side of the hwy driving home and it somehow made me feel more Canadian. So don't rule it out
Its kind of weird knowing that im only seeing you that day to fuck in some woods
He peed in the bird bath. Those birds are gonna be pissed
Speaking of fellatio on fictional characters, the Stay Puft Marshmallow Man would be a delicious blowjob.
We are gunna have the best winter break smoking weed and eating ham
So unless we're getting married, I can't see him cry AND have sex with him. It just doesn't work like that.
I remember telling you that I think Taylor Swift has stolen my essence. I still think that's true.
She said I can't embarrass her, the challenge has been set
Randomize
