You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
smoking weed is really the only logical conclusion to hangovers
i was so drunk i stopped mid-blowjob to make sure he i was with my boyfriend and not some random. twice.
Last night was the first night with all of the roommates, and what started as a calm night of light drinking got out of hand. There's a girl on my couch wearing only a fanny pack.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No. And Marissa said shitting in the handicap bathroom at work does not get you into the club. You have to shit yourself. She said.
I will fuck him senseless, no need for a priest.
I only have one eye to read your texts because I just stabbed one out after reading that last text.
Can one of you do me a favor? Light a match and throw it into my room. Bc I'm certain I would rather be burned to death than live in this hell I call my life
"Stranger danger aquaman" were the last words i remember. help me.
I just sold my hat for three car bombs. I call that a win.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Watching the Walking Dead, snuggled up naked, and drinking a beer. No better way.
If ever there was a tweet to describe your life, it's this.
Have you had sex with a man from New Zealand? No? Then your input is invalid.
You let someone poor beer into my mouth off of a balcony. Best friend test failed.
Haahahahahahhaaa
Thanks for letting me pee on your bed and cry about nothing to you. You're a real friend
Accidentally searched up "pizza pasties" instead of "pizza pastries". I was not disappointed.
uh why is my bathtub filled with kool aid? or is that blood?
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